Thursday, April 7, 2011

Britney Spears

Right now I'm listening to Britney Spears' new album Femme Fatale.  Actually, I've been listening to it nonstop for the past two days.  It's what kept me going last night while I wrote my paper for Marriage Prep.  Kind of ironic, considering Britney is the epitome of everything "toxic" for a marriage. ( Pretty clever right?)

I just can't stop listening to the album.  FINALLY Britney has been able to make a halfway decent album since her life crisis.  Wait, what's the plural for "crisis", because she definitely had more than one...

Remember when Britney released "Baby One More Time"? She was so cute and innocent.  If you consider dressing like a schoolgirl with a mini skirt and belly shirt innocent. 
But if you compare that to what she later evolved into, that's pretty innocent.

I'm pretty sure Britney Spears has a skin allergy to fabric.  That is, her stomach is allergic to clothing because ALL of her outfits included some type of belly shirt.  Even when she lost her "youthful figure" she didn't cover up her stomach.  The only exception I can think of is that red plastic jumpsuit she wore for "Oops!...I Did it Again. "
Remember this one?  Of course you do.
I'll admit it.  Back in the day I thought Britney was pretty freakin' cool.  She didn't wear much clothing, but she wasn't too bad.  Almost every girl had her first and second album.  I remember one day a friend of mine came over to play.  Hey, I was seven.  She brought her portable CD player and her Britney Spears CD.  We listened to "Oops...I did it Again" and "You Drive Me Crazy" about a million times.  Though she had the whole album, we ignored the 10 other songs.  These were the days before itunes after all.

Then Britney, her third album was released.  "I'm a Slave 4 U" was the first single.  She made it pretty obvious.  Britney was no longer innocent, or anywhere close to that. 

In 2003 she released her fourth album which had a couple good singles, including "Toxic." 

Then Britney went a little crazy.

She got married in Vegas for a whopping 55 hours.  Then she for real got married to white trash (AKA Kevin Federline.)  She also had two kids and drove in a car with one on her lap.  I'm pretty sure Britney isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.  Then she got divorced and decided to shave her head.
I don't know what she was thinking,  but I do know that Natalie Portman looks much better bald.

At his point, everyone thought Britney was done.  But she wasn't.

In 2007, Blackout was released.  It sucked.

In 2008, Circus was released.  It also sucked.

And then in Femme Fatale was released last month.  I love it.  I can't stop listening to it.  I don't know why this album is so much better than the last two flops, but I don't care.  Britney Spears isn't the best role model, and she isn't extremely talented, but if this album can help me get through these last awful weeks of school, then I that's good enough for me.

Oh, and I should probably note that I got a lot of info about Britney from wikipedia.  I'm not that obsessed. 


  1. kristen i love britney. i'm glad her new album is good. thanks for approving it :)

  2. i may or may not be previewing britney's femme fatale right now...
    Britney = Brilliance.