Saturday, April 30, 2011


Before I rant about prom, watch this trailer.

Come on Disney.  I really expected better from you.  But then again, I shouldn't be surprised.  High School Musical 3 beat them to it.

And yes I did watch HSM3, but not until they aired it on TV...

I must warn you that I'm incredibly bias, so I'm not going to support the counter argument.  Disney's done enough for that.  Anyway, my opinion is the only one that counts in these blogs.  Muahaha. 

High school most be pretty sad if it's defined by our Senior Prom.  It's NOT the most important night of our lives, and it's NOT what we've been looking forward to since birth.  Well, I hope not. So what is high school?  Hell.  Actually middle school is Hell, high school isn't nearly as bad.  But it's not amazing and prom isn't life changing.  Unless you get knocked up that night.

OK that got out of hand fast.

I never really liked school dances.  They were sweaty, slutty, and overrated.  I still went though; apparently I wasn't getting the "high school experience" if I skipped.  I will now force you to look at the homecoming pictures of when I was cute and skinny.

Freshman year.  My mom made my dress:)

Junior.  Finally allowed to have a date.  Dress #2 made by Mom.
I went senior year too, but I only have a couple pictures and I look fat.  Soooo looks like you'll have to stalk me on facebook to see them.

Yeah, so as I was saying.  I wasn't a fan of school dances, BUT I did have fun at Prom.  See, I'm not completely bias.  My date was pretty hot also.  Too bad I was the one who did the asking...
Does my jacket look oddly familiar?  I wore it Sophomore year also.  It fit better back then.

Movies make prom seem like a big deal.  I can't blame it all on the media though.  Prom was the main topic of conversation at school the month prior.  It drove me crazy.  I'm telling you, I'm not a girl.  I really don't care what your dress looks like, and I don't want to try and explain what mine looks like to you.  The problem is, all the other girls cared, so I would smile and nod as they would explain their dress in great detail.

Girl: "OMG guys, I bought my dress yesterday!!  Actually I bought three because I couldn't decide."

Other "normal" girls: "(squeel)  That's so EXCITING!  What do they look like?"

Girl: "Well, the first one is dark blue, strapless, and kind of gathers around my waist.  It also has sequins on the torso and...(By this time I stop listening.  They all sound the same.)

Other girls:  "Wow that sounds so pretty.  I can't wait to see you wear it!!!!!"

Girl:  "Thanks.  So Kristen, what does your dress look like?"

Me:  "It's black and kind of a brassy color. "

Girl:  "Oooooo what else?!"

Me:  "Uhh, it's long?"

Yeah.  I avoided those conversations like the plague.  I also realized once I got to Prom that it's a much more formal dance than I thought.  I'm pretty sure I was the only person that didn't have my hair done professionally.  I didn't even wear more make up than usual.  My supply was pretty limited.
Hey.  I did have a fancy braid AND my hair was curled.
Alright maybe I wasn't extremely excited for Prom because I'm not a normal girl, but still.  It's really not that big of a deal so please stop making movies about it.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Honors Writing 150

Can you believe that Honors Writing 150 was my favorite class?  Neither can I.

I feel bad for Writing; it gets such a bad wrap.  Everyone hates writing because they assume they're bad at it, and those that think they're good at writing are those artistic hipsters.  Gosh they always annoyed me.  Correction: they still annoy me.

So why do so many people hate writing?  That's easy.  It takes time, we're usually forced to write for dumb class assignments, and we're embarrassed of our work.  At least that's how it was for me all through grade school.  Somehow my writing always sounded so stupid.  Peer editing was the worst, not only was the teacher reading my horrible paper, but so were my friends. 

My change in attitude towards writing took a frickin long time.  Like I said before, I assumed I wasn't a good writer because I wasn't one of those creative artsy kids.  I started to think differently by senior year in my AP Lit and Comp class.  My teacher gave us a lot of freedom in what we could write about and I kind of enjoyed it.  Don't laugh.  Then I took the AP test.  I was HOPING for a 4, but was surprised to find that I received a 5.  My confidence in my writing abilities sky rocketed. 

Then I went to BYU.  Fives weren't a big deal.

For some reason I signed up for the Honors Program.  I knew that I wouldn't graduate with honors because my GPA is no where near their requirements and I'm too lazy to do all the extra work, but I signed up nonetheless.  Every honors student has to take the Honors 150 Writing class.  I was mad.  That was the one class I had tested out of, yet I still had to take it.  All for a program that I wasn't really part of.

So I took the class and it was really hard.  I spent hours in the library reading peer reviewed articles about homeschooling for my research paper.  I spent hours agonizing over poorly written thesis statements.  I spent hours staring at blank Word documents.  I spent hours revising draft after draft.

Ok the word "hours" looks weird now. 

Basically I hated and loved that class.  I learned a lot about writing, but I'm not going to try and explain what changed in me.  Just give writing a chance.  It's really not that bad.

Writing and I have a healthy relationship now.  Of course, I don't love writing when I'm assigned a 10 page essay about obesity, but sometimes it's ok.  For example, this blog.  I enjoy blogging.  I can use as much sarcasm and opinion as I want, and people actually READ it.  Remember how I said I used to be embarrassed when people read my stuff?  Yeah, now I'm posting it on the internet for perfect strangers to read.

I hope I get stalkers.

Monday, April 25, 2011

My Exciting Life #8

I'm home in Ohio now, so maybe I should stop writing "My Exciting Life" entries.  Just kidding, my life can be exciting no matter how anti-social it may become this summer.

It was really sad to leave BYU and my freshman year, but no need to dwell on it.  It was fun while it lasted.  I grew up a lot, got smarter and fatter, and made some awesome friends.  This summer I'm going to get dumber and skinnier, and try to find friends.  I can't wait!

Now that I'm home I feel like I'm living in a 5 star hotel.  Scratch that.  Hotels don't have stocked refrigerators with free food, four bathrooms and bedrooms, and multiple TVs.  Actually I think they do, but I've never stayed in a 5 star hotel so I wouldn't know... Whether it's like a 5 star hotel or not, I'm enjoying home.  I also haven't eaten out once since I've been home.  That makes me way happy. 

On Saturday I went on a run.  I thought I'd be awesome because I could run in Utah which has barely any oxygen.  Ohio may have more oxygen in the air, but there's also more water.  I felt like I was drowning from the humidity AND my sweat.  Long story short, I ran for 15 minutes and then gave up.  Later I went rollerblading with Lily.  Yeah, I know rollerblading is so 90s, but if you saw me tear up the suburban neighborhood streets you wouldn't make fun of me.  I'm a pretty awesome rollerblader.

Church was fun.  Sacrament meeting was pretty loud.  It's not as reverent as my student ward at BYU, but I also didn't feel like if I breathed everyone in the room would hear me.

Today I woke up, ate, exercised, showered, and by that time Lily was already back from school.  Speaking of Lily, she got a 31 ACT score.  As a sophomore.  Technically she should be a freshman, but she skipped 8th grade.  What the heck.  Y I NO SMART??  (memebase reference)

Oh wait, I also kind of unpacked.
Most of that stuff is in my closet and dressers.  See, I was productive today.

I also worked out for a second time today with my mom.  I'm her personal trainer now.  I'm telling you, I'm the next Jillian Michaels.  Now that I've finished my freshman year, I also have a fat story like Jillian.

Don't worry, I really don't think I'm fat.

Good news.  I still have my job at Subway.  If you live in Medina, come get a sub made by me.  I'm a sandwich artist.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

It's Spring

This has nothing to do with the post, but I finally finished packing/cleaning/moving all my stuff out of my dorm.  It took ALL DAY LONG.  Somehow my tiny dorm room fit 2.5 suitcases and 6 boxes worth of stuff, plus my skis, longboard, and cello.  Crazy.  Now I'm sitting in bare room surrounded by white cinder block.  It's depressing.

Ok I'm done.

Spring.  When it seems like winter will never end, spring is the light at the end of the tunnel.  Many things come to mind when I think of spring.  I think of warmer weather, fresh smelling air, and happiness. Oh, and rain.  April showers bring May flowers.  Of course this includes snow showers too.

I love the trees in the spring because instead of being covered with just leaves, they're covered in flowers.  Man that's some deep stuff.  I just hope you don't get confused with my brilliant thinking.

So I decided to walk around campus and take some pictures of the trees. 
I love this tree because the flowers are huge.  Yeah.  
I always thought these trees smelled like popcorn.  Today I realized they smell like corn tortillas. 
If you have talked to me in the last few days, chances are you've already had this conversation with me.  The conversation about these trees:
Pretty, yeah?
So white and innocent.   
I call this the Walk of Death.
These trees are everywhere.  They were in Ohio, and they're in Utah.  I CAN'T ESCAPE THEM.  If you are sitting there thinking, "Kristen is a freak.  I can't see anything wrong with the trees." then think again.  Of course  you can't "see" a problem, you have to smell it.

These white trees smell like sweaty underwear. 

Sweaty underwear is gross, but you can dispose of it quickly and throw it in the wash.  I can't dispose hundreds of trees.  In my neighborhood back in Ohio, these trees were everywhere.  When I went running I would try to hold my breath when I ran past them, but that didn't work out too well.  Turns out oxygen is an important component when running.  So I would breath through my mouth instead of my nose.  That didn't work either.  Tasting sweaty underwear is worse than smelling it.

Spring means other things too.

In high school spring means it's almost summer break.  At BYU, spring DOES mean summer break.  I'm done and going home tomorrow! 

I don't know how it is at other universities, but at BYU spring means a plethora of PDA.  All those freshman who were restricted to the Helaman Halls lobbies can now snuggle and kiss outside.  I thought that since we're a school filled with mormons, the students might be less willing to show their affection publicly.  Not so.  There is also a recurring theme that people start to date the last two weeks of the semester.  I guess they didn't like each other the whole semester till the last few days.  That, or they realize that the guy is leaving on his mission for two years.

I may be complaining about those of you with spring romances, but don't be offended.  I'm probably just jealous...

So, happy spring!  Enjoy those trees, just don't breath.

Monday, April 18, 2011

My Exciting Life #7

It's finals week.

Last semester that meant spending endless hours with Harold, going to tons of reviews, and getting kidney stones from the stress.  Ok so I didn't get kidney stones, but everything else is true. 

This semester has been VERY different from Fall semester, and that goes for finals week too.  I've spent less than two hours in the library, went to two short reviews, and I haven't been stressed.  Well, I have been stressed, but not really.

I took three finals today.  I know, I'm a beast.  Actually I'm not.  I did ok on my Music final, and the papers I turned in for Writing were satisfactory, but I didn't do so hot on my Book of Mormon or Marriage Prep test.  They say you can't grade your testimony, but that isn't comforting enough when your worst grade for the semester is in your religion class.  Don't even get me started on Marriage Prep.  I took that class for an easy A with all my roommates, but I'm just hoping I get above a B-.

So this is my theory.  I do better in my hard classes than my easy classes because I try.  I guess I deserved my marriage prep grade, I didn't do anything in that class but sleep.  I DID learn a lot  though. I highly recommend it.  Just don't sleep.

I'm gonna take Sociology tomorrow and then I'm done!  Not really, I still have to pack up everything in my room.  CAN'T WAIT.

I go home Friday.  If your are in Medina please hang out with me.  I will be bored after the first week.

Monday, April 11, 2011

My Exciting Life #6

Yesterday it snowed.  Today it's nice out.
This wasn't taken today, but nice weather still makes me happy.

I took advantage of the good weather and went on a run.  I lasted 25 minutes.  I really should be exercising more.

On Saturday BYU's 153 ward had a talent show and slide show for the end of the year.  It was sad.  The end is near and I don't want to go home.  Only two more days of actual classes.

So with these last days of the semester I can't help but reflect on all the things that happened my first year at BYU.  Then I get sad, because I'm gonna miss it.  To make myself feel better, I made a list of all the things I WON'T miss from my freshman year.

1) Living in a dorm room the size of a prison cell.
Tree was NOT happy when I took this.

2) Our nasty bathroom.  We clean it about once a month.  It's gross.

3) Cheap toilet paper from the Creamery.
Sometimes we run out.  That's when tissues and paper towels come in handy.

4) Eating full meals from the vending machines.

5) Walking everywhere.

6) Writing papers.

7) Studying for exams.

8) Getting fat.

Well, I was aiming for a list of at least 10, but I'm struggling. I guess it's a good thing that I like college.  I was never a fan of school until college.  So if any of you are still in high school, don't worry, it gets better.  MUCH better.

Man I love going off on tangents.

If you recall, I was talking about my weekend.  After the talent show we went to the movies and saw Soul Surfer.  (Bethany Hamilton's story here.)  First time I ever cried from a movie.  Contrary to what many believe, I DO have a heart, I just don't like to cry in front of people.  I'll cry when I'm alone, so books and tv shows are fair game.  For example, I cried while reading Where the Red Fern Grows; from watching The Biggest Loser, and the Winter Olympics.  Don't judge.

Anyways, I give two thumbs up to Soul Surfer.  Very inspirational.  It can get a bit cheesy, but that was expected.  Oh, and Carrie Underwood should probably stick with singing...

P.S.  I'm still obsessed with Britney's new album.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Britney Spears

Right now I'm listening to Britney Spears' new album Femme Fatale.  Actually, I've been listening to it nonstop for the past two days.  It's what kept me going last night while I wrote my paper for Marriage Prep.  Kind of ironic, considering Britney is the epitome of everything "toxic" for a marriage. ( Pretty clever right?)

I just can't stop listening to the album.  FINALLY Britney has been able to make a halfway decent album since her life crisis.  Wait, what's the plural for "crisis", because she definitely had more than one...

Remember when Britney released "Baby One More Time"? She was so cute and innocent.  If you consider dressing like a schoolgirl with a mini skirt and belly shirt innocent. 
But if you compare that to what she later evolved into, that's pretty innocent.

I'm pretty sure Britney Spears has a skin allergy to fabric.  That is, her stomach is allergic to clothing because ALL of her outfits included some type of belly shirt.  Even when she lost her "youthful figure" she didn't cover up her stomach.  The only exception I can think of is that red plastic jumpsuit she wore for "Oops!...I Did it Again. "
Remember this one?  Of course you do.
I'll admit it.  Back in the day I thought Britney was pretty freakin' cool.  She didn't wear much clothing, but she wasn't too bad.  Almost every girl had her first and second album.  I remember one day a friend of mine came over to play.  Hey, I was seven.  She brought her portable CD player and her Britney Spears CD.  We listened to "Oops...I did it Again" and "You Drive Me Crazy" about a million times.  Though she had the whole album, we ignored the 10 other songs.  These were the days before itunes after all.

Then Britney, her third album was released.  "I'm a Slave 4 U" was the first single.  She made it pretty obvious.  Britney was no longer innocent, or anywhere close to that. 

In 2003 she released her fourth album which had a couple good singles, including "Toxic." 

Then Britney went a little crazy.

She got married in Vegas for a whopping 55 hours.  Then she for real got married to white trash (AKA Kevin Federline.)  She also had two kids and drove in a car with one on her lap.  I'm pretty sure Britney isn't the sharpest tool in the shed.  Then she got divorced and decided to shave her head.
I don't know what she was thinking,  but I do know that Natalie Portman looks much better bald.

At his point, everyone thought Britney was done.  But she wasn't.

In 2007, Blackout was released.  It sucked.

In 2008, Circus was released.  It also sucked.

And then in Femme Fatale was released last month.  I love it.  I can't stop listening to it.  I don't know why this album is so much better than the last two flops, but I don't care.  Britney Spears isn't the best role model, and she isn't extremely talented, but if this album can help me get through these last awful weeks of school, then I that's good enough for me.

Oh, and I should probably note that I got a lot of info about Britney from wikipedia.  I'm not that obsessed. 

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

My Exciting Life #5

If you're an avid follower of my blog - which I assume you are - you're probably confused with when  "My Exciting Life" entries are posted.  Well, initially I planned to write them on Sundays, but I normally go to my sisters after church so that wouldn't work.  Then I decided Mondays were just as good because I could reflect on my whole week.  As you can see, that's not workin out too well either, so I'm sorry.  My life is just too darn exciting and busy to be a regular blogger. 

Alright so last update I mentioned that my Lily came into town to visit me and Jenai.  I'm pretty sure she was way impressed with our awesome college lifestyles.  In other words, Lily got to go to all my classes, eat multiple meals from the vending machine, and took lots of naps. 

Lily also got to experience the joys of having no car.  I think it was Wednesday when we decided to go see a movie at the dollar theater.  We got to walk there.  The next day was AWESOME weather, so we hiked the Y.  We didn't just hike, we also walked from my dorm to the base of the Y and then back to my dorm.  It took almost three hours.  But I'm not complaining, I like that stuff.  Plus, we got to see a celebrity because we walked home. 

Ok, so maybe not a celebrity, but around here she is.  I'll give you some clues and you're gonna guess who we saw.

1) She's a mormon mom who has a very popular blog.
2) She was in an airplane wreck and burned 80% of her body two years ago.

You guessed it, Stephanie Nielson!  Alright most of you probably still don't know who I'm talking about.  Here's her blog.  She also was featured in a Mormon Message last year.  I'll post it. 

Now that you know who this Stephanie Nielson is, I can go back to MY life.  That's why you're reading this anyways, right?  

 So Lily and I had descended the Y and we were basically dying from exhaustion.  We still had to walk about 1.5-2 miles back to the dorms, so we were doing anything to reserve our leg strength.  The neighborhood you have to walk through at the base of the trail is really steep.  Probably because it's a mountain...anyways Lily discovered that when you walked down the hill backwards it didn't strain our legs so much.    While I was walking backwards (looking cool of course) I heard a motorcycle approaching us, so I looked behind me to avoid getting run over.  I noticed that the vehicle had three passengers.  One husband, one wife, and a kid.  As they passed us by, the women turned towards us and it was STEPHANIE NIELSON.  For a lack of better words, Lily and I freaked out.  

So I was excited.  Since I follow (stalk) her blog, I knew that she would be attending a showing of a documentary of Marius, another burn victim, at the JSB on BYU campus.  I had to go.  I wanted to meet her for real.  

Well guess what.  I went and met her.  She hugged us all and said she remembered me from last week.  I nearly died. 
I'm still kind of freaking out.  Blogs are an interesting thing.  Though I know you all absolutely LOVE my blog, it's still new, so I don't quite have the same fan base that NieNie has.  YET.  The people that read my blog know me because I shamelessly advertise my blog on my facebook page.  In Stephanie's case, people that she's never met follow her blog and know so many details about her life.  I feel like I know her just because I read her blog.  Creepy yeah? 

This applies to vlogs too.  I don't follow any vlogs except Shay Carl's.  Ever watched any Shaytard videos on youtube?  Chances are if you spend as much time on youtube as I do, you've seen at least one. 

The first time I watched one of his videos, I was bored.  Then I started watching more and I fell in love with his family.  Then I found out they are mormon.  But that's besides the point. 

My point is:  I like to stalk perfect strangers.

Darn it.  I got off topic again.

The rest of my week was pretty good.  Mike, Jenai, Lily, and I ate pho.

Then we DROVE in a car.

Then Mike randomly decided to get a haircut, Lily got a mango lassi at the Bollywood market, and then we had dinner with the Crains!!!  They're basically our second family that used to live in Medina.  I was an idiot and forgot to take pictures.

Saturday Lily went home and I sat in front of Jenai's tv for 10 straight hours.  Four of those hours were devoted to General Conference, so maybe that's not so bad.

This was way too long of a post.  For this, I apologize.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

things that automatically make you look dumb

Great title yeah?  I normally try to keep them short, but there's no one word that sums up this post.

Hence, things that automatically make you look dumb.

As I walk around campus I LOVE to people watch.  It's just so entertaining.  You might think that BYU students are all the same, and in some cases they are, but they don't all look the same.  There's the Utah mormons, the California mormons, the easterners, the list goes on and on.

Ok, that has nothing to do with the topic of this post.  

But as I look around, I notice certain clothing or "accessories" that never fail to make the poor victim look weird or stupid. 

1) Rolling Backpacks

I don't care how cool you are, if you pull one of these around you WILL look stupid.  Even when I was in elementary school I knew these things were for nerds and if I wanted to be normal I'd wear my backpack on my back.  I'm sorry if you use a rolling backpack, because this is really harsh, but if you don't know this by now, you really need to hear this.

When I think of the kind of person wheeling their backpack around I picture an old lady going to college classes, or a nerd who has no reason to use one of these yet.  One morning I was walking to class when I heard this loud rumble. It was so loud, everyone turned around to see where the source of the noise was.   That's when we saw the girl running and pulling her backpack behind her to class.  I still can't believe how much noise that backpack produced. 

2) Big headphones
This one's a hard call.  These headphones produce better sound quality blah blah, but only certain people can wear them without looking like a tool or a wanna be.  Typically, I think they look the best on bigger guys that are more serious about their music. Sadly, not all of us are not muscular and beautiful like this man above, so they make us look dumb.   Plus, they take up a ton of room in your backpack.

3) Knee scooters

Ok, so before I start, I realize that if you use one of these it's obviously not your fault. 

When I was younger I thought crutches were SO COOL.  I was so jealous of those "lucky" kids who broke their leg over the summer and came to school with crutches.  Then I got older and realized how much it would suck to have to use crutches.  Imagine using crutches when you're in college, which requires lots of walking.  It's basically impossible.  So they invented knee scooters.  It's actually a pretty smart idea and makes transportation much easier, but it still makes you look dumb.  Sorry.

4) Hoodies with earphones
Does anyone think this looks weird?  If you're not familiar with this new phenomenon, you basically attach your ipod to a headphone jack in the pocket connected to the drawstrings.  The drawstrings have headphones at the end which you can "conveniently" put in your ears.  This website takes them pretty seriously.  I just don't get it.  It's really not that hard to put my ipod in my sweatshirt pocket and use the actual headphones.  But that's just me...

I'd like to think of this blog as a public service, because if you use any of these, do yourself a favor and stop. You deserve a better first impression.