Saturday, February 25, 2012

Why nice guys finish last.

Lately I've been seeing a lot of internet memes about guys getting friend-zoned.  If you're not familiar with this term it's typically when a girl rejects a guy by saying they "just want to be friends."  And often this statement is truthful.  We honestly do want to be friends, but nothing more. To girls, this seems like a completely logical plan, but apparently guys hate this.  Even worse is after being friend-zoned, the girl goes for a jerk instead.

Guys complain about this a lot, and they have every right to do so.  Girls really do fall for douche bags instead of nice, respectable guys.  The question is why?  It's not like we want to date selfish, cocky, idiots, but somehow countless girls do.

Yes, I just included myself in this discussion.  I find myself continually attracted to muscular guys that are more obsessed with their bodies than I am.  And I'm a girl.  They are totally self-centered jerks, and yet I'd totally make-out with any of them.  Yep, I just said that.  This never made sense to me, I absolutely HATE these guys, but there is something beguiling about them.

So here's a theory that explains why girls fall into the douche bag trap: These jerks develop a false sense of superiority which makes them confident.  I find confidence very attractive.  Girls might say that we want a sensitive guy, but what we really want is a manly MAN.  The problem arises when girls mistake the jerks as "manly" when they're really just egotistic losers. 

I may be attracted to countless retards, but I would never date one.  I respect myself enough to avoid that situation.  But it really bothers me that I'm physically attracted to jerks, and yet I can't feel this way towards "nice" guys.  Do you know how many guys I've wanted to like, but just couldn't?  A lot.  I hate how there's this perfect, friendly, cute guy, and yet I don't feel anything.  IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.  Maybe they're so respectful, I feel like they'll never make a move.  I don't know.  It's weird.

So this is my advice to you nice guys:  If you've been friend-zoned, don't change who you are.  Girls are stupid sometimes.  Ok, a lot of times.  But if you want them to notice you in a "friendlier" manner, you're gonna have to show some confidence.  If you want to kiss a girl, and she seems to have mutual feelings, then GO FOR IT.  Girls like to feel like the guy is in control.  WARNING: No other time will we be ok with guys being controlling or dominating; that's when you start blurring the line between manly and douchey.  Having said that, we still want you to be confident in yourself as a man.  I don't care if it's old fashion, the guy should be the one to make the first move.  If I think he's too chicken, then I'm no longer attracted to him. 

The important thing is to continue and be a nice guy.  Sure, right now you may feel like girls don't notice you in the way you want, but you don't want to date those girls with low self-confidence anyway.  If the only reason you have a sub-par dating life is because you're nice, then you don't have much to worry about.  I've been friend-zoned a few times too and it sucks.  The problem is, I can't use the excuse that I'm too nice.  It doesn't work like that for girls.  No, the reasons I came up with include: I'm obnoxious, I'm annoying, I'm weird, I'm flat, I'm not very ladylike, or a nice combination of all those things. 

See? Just compare your life to mine and you'll feel better about yourself!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

How to Survive Valentine's Day if You're Single

I actually made a vlog about this, and spent way too many hours filming and editing, but I'm not going to post it.  I'm too embarrassed.  I'm much better at writing sarcastically, than talking enthusiastically to a camera. I was soo incredibly awkward. AWKWARD.  I think I'll stick with blogging for now.

How to survive Valentine's Day if you're single:

Tip #1: Buy yourself chocolate.  Preferably in bulk.  And it can't be any of that Hershey crap, make it the good stuff. 

Tip #2:  Complain about your singleness and how Valentine's Day is overrated.  Share these feelings on facebook for everyone to see.  Most likely your single friends will agree with you and you will feel a fleeting sense of camaraderie.

Tip #3:  Eat chocolate.

Tip #4:  Surround yourself with single friends.  Then talk about annoying couples.

Tip #5:  Eat more chocolate.

Tip #6:  Write yourself romantic poetry.  It's not weird.

Tip #7:  Finish off your chocolate.

 Tip #8:  Cry yourself to sleep.

Hey, I didn't say these tips would make it a good day.  The goal is to survive.  Yep, that's all the advice I have to give. 

P.S.  My roommates and I bought a heart shaped ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.  I've been looking forward to this for weeks. 

Monday, February 6, 2012

Why I'm going to be a horrible wife

Let's be honest, I'm gonna be an awesome wife; I'm not gonna let myself go and get fat once I tie the knot.  And the reason why I'll stay thin??


Which is also the reason I'm going to be a horrible wife...But we live in a modern world, we don't have to fill the roles that society places on us!  So my husband can go to work, and then make dinner.  I'll do stuff like sit around and watch him make dinner.  Take that societal norms!

No, eventually I'll learn.  And maybe I'll actually cook, but I still hate it.  In this post I hadn't made a real meal yet, but last week I made my first legit meal -- Like I had to cook it and stuff -- It wouldn't have been worth it if it wasn't delicious japanese curry.
That's my "I LOVE CURRY" face.
I was nervous because I had to cook raw chicken, and I was making dinner for my roommates and another friend.  WHAT IF I DIDN'T COOK THE MEAT ENOUGH AND WE ALL DIED?  Well, we didn't die, and we didn't even get food poisoning.  Double win. 

I'm pretty much clueless when it comes to cooking, so when I bought the chicken I had no idea what I was doing.  Luckily Jenai was with me so she guided me through the whole process, but I ended buying 5 pounds of chicken.  Apparently I didn't need that much because I basically had the whole case of chicken left after I made curry.

It sat in the fridge for most of the week, but I finally decided to cook it and freeze it.  The whole pan frying took forever,  and the whole time I was freaking out because I didn't know if the chicken was cooked all the way.  Did I mention how much I hate cooking?  Since I had all this chicken I thought I might eat some for dinner.  I cooked some brown rice (yay healthy) in my trusty rice cooker, and applauded myself for preparing chicken AND rice in one meal.

Then I realized that I had absolutely nothing to eat the chicken and rice with.  Seriously, my options were soy sauce, peanut butter, jelly, relish, or mustard.  I chose mustard.

So my fancy meal consisted of chicken, brown rice, and stadium mustard.  Bon appetit! 
Wow, I didn't realize how pasty white I was till now.

Lots of bland chicken.