Monday, June 29, 2015

Gay Marriage Dispute

Social media has been brutal this past weekend.  So many opinions, so many articles, so many arguments.  And even though I wanted to just avoid it all, I couldn't help but read everything I came across.  I wanted to hear both sides. I wanted to try and understand this supposedly important debate about gay marriage.  But mostly I was just sad.

Before I get into anything I just want to say that I can honestly empathize with both sides.  At one point in my life I really thought that being gay was a choice.  I remember saying once, "Bisexual people are just horny and will hook up with anyone."  I was that closed minded and that judgmental. I'm not saying that those of you opposing gay marriage think such horrible things, but I really did have strong opinions against it all.  Then I grew up some, had more life experiences, gained gay friends and my opinions changed.  Now I'm at the point where I'm not upset about gay marriage in all 50 states.  I'm even happy about it.  But the thing that hasn't changed is my belief in the family--and marriage is the base of that.  As a Mormon, I have confidence in our faith and am comforted knowing that temple marriages will always be between a man and a woman.  So if you're living the gospel, stop freaking out.  If you live the way you're supposed to, then you don't have to obsess about gay marriage.  Have some faith.

I think it's totally fine to state your beliefs on social media, but I just hope it's for the right reason.  I saw many people post things on both sides that were tasteful and not emotionally driven.  But I saw a lot of posts that were judgmental and far from loving.  And this was on both sides.

I'm going to be a bit hypocritical here, because I need to work on this as well, but we really need to be more Christlike.  I'm not saying that being Christlike is to drop your beliefs and accept the opposing view's ways.  I'm saying you need to be loving.  We need to stop looking at each other based off of the labels we have separated ourselves into.  We need to think about how our words do influence people.  If you had a gay brother, would you word your comments the same?  Your beliefs wouldn't change, but I'm sure you'd think about how your words would affect him.

Some people say, "Taking offense is a choice."  I agree, but that doesn't mean it's not hard.  I'm not a crier;  I just don't really like to cry.  But after reading a few days worth of Facebook "discussions" I ended my day by giving a heartfelt prayer to replace my anger with love, and to make the sting lessen.  And then I cried myself  to sleep.

We have to stop judging people.  We are always going to have different opinions, and sometimes they will be about topics in which we will have strong opinions and feelings.  This is a test of your charity.  Please, share your beliefs all you want, but don't be pointing fingers.  It's not a surprise you're all mad at each other.  Everyone knows a conversation will never end well when it's always "you do this" or "I don't like how you...".

This was definitely a rant post, but I know I'm not the only one who feels this way and I'm fairly certain you were the people who kept quiet all weekend.  So, I'm sorry if you had a sucky weekend as well.  I still believe that people are inherently good, but the internet is just so good at providing mediums for tactless comments.

Oh, and please don't say "The next thing we know polygamy will be legalized!"  Because guess what--we already did that.

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