I care about myself and my well-being way too much.
Let's start with Youtube. Many of you may have already seen my latest youtube video because I shamelessly posted it on my facebook wall, just like I do for all my blog posts.
I had seen Sh*t Girls Say, and Stephen Jones' mormon version, so I thought maybe I'd make a video entitled "Stuff BYU Students Say." During Relief Society I started to make a list of things I might say in the video. (Hey, sometimes it can get boring). By the end of church I had a pretty good list of ideas and immediately started to film when we got home. Compared to my last music video, this one was super easy. Lots of little clips with no lip syncing? Piece of cake. Of course it wasn't all me. Meghan acted as my mute friend/boyfriend, Aubrey filmed, and both contributed lines. Oh, and Meghan let me use her iPhone in the video so that it would make me look cooler. I hope it worked.
We did all the filming that Sunday, which means we filmed on campus in school clothes while everyone else was still in church. (BYU students have church in campus buildings because there would have to be a million chapels to accommodate for so many freakin mormons). So yeah, it was kind of awkward. By 4pm, we had filmed, edited, and posted the video on youtube. Not bad if I may say so myself.
I remember how excited I was when the video reached 500 views. Then 5,000. Then 1,000,000. Just kidding, I think it's only around seven thousand right now. But let's compare those stats to this blog. Even my most popular posts like Sick of Being Single, and PROM have less than 200 views. 150 vs. 7000. Apparently people are too lazy to read.
Ok, so back to my thesis statement: I care about myself and my well-being way too much.
While the views continued to increase, I checked the progress constantly. I was so pumped that people thought it was funny; people that I didn't even know. I also watched and re-watched the video way too many times. For the record, it's not funny after the fifth time. I can only be self-centered for so long without getting critical and disgusted with myself.
And that's how I was grossly self absorbed with my little moment of "fame." The next example is when my roommate got the stomach flu. Before I proceed, you need to know one thing about me. I have problems. And one of those problems is my fear of throwing up, also known as emetophobia. I don't worry about it anymore, but when I was a kid it really affected me. Nothing was worse than throwing up, and I did everything to avoid it. You know what, this reminds me of a story from my childhood. Sorry, but now I HAVE to tell it.
As I mentioned earlier, I was terrified of blowing chunks (as my dad would say) which means I was also afraid of food poisoning. This might be hard to believe, but Jenai wasn't always the perfect older sister. She knew how cautious I was with food, so she told me a little lie one night when we were eating chili for dinner.
Jenai: Hey Kristen.
Me: (Looking innocent and adorable) What?
Jenai: Do you see these dots on the beans? (She points to the kidney beans).
Jenai: Well, sometimes they can be poisonous. Most of the beans with spots aren't poisonous, so people eat them anyway.
For the rest of the meal, and many meals after that I picked out the kidney beans from my chili. Did I mention that ALL kidney beans have spots and that they make up the majority of chili? I'm not sure how long Jenai let me go through this torture, but one night she burst out laughing and told me that she had made the whole thing up. I'm telling you, Jenai was kind of evil for the first 12 years of her life.
Wait, what was my point? Oh yeah, I hate throwing up. It doesn't ruin my life anymore, but I still hate it. So when my roommate was sick in bed, feeling horrible and stuff, all I could worry about was whether I was going to get sick too. I got a ginger ale for Aubrey, but that's about all I did to help. I mostly just kept my distance, slept on the couch, used the other bathroom, and washed my hands constantly.
I told you, I'm self-centered.
|This has nothing to do with the post, but look how cute Aubrey and I were when were babies.|