Friday, January 2, 2015

Words of Wisdom from my grandparents

I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't written a proper blog post in quite some time.  This is not because I suddenly stopped seeking attention through the Internet, but because I have been in Japan serving as a missionary for the past year and a half. I've been home for about a month and I've been meaning to write a post about how awesome and life changing my mission was, but it overwhelmed me too much.  Which is why I haven't done anything about it.  

So instead of writing an enlightening and spiritually uplifting post, I decided to copy and paste from a list I kept of the funny things that my dad's parents said when they visited over Christmas break. Enjoy.

•Grandpa Oda: (pointing to a door) "Where does this lead to?" 
Dad: "It's a cupboard."

•Me: "do you have a tissue?" 
Grandma: "Yeah I got some!" (Pulls out a gallon bag full of tissues)

•Grandpa: "Everything I'm wearing is from Costco."

•Grandma Oda: "See those tombstones over there? They say "I told you I was sick."

•Grandma: "I'll go buy the prune juice.  It's a special kind; it's the strongest one." 
Dad:"you can use my Metamucil if you want." 
Grandma: "It doesn't work fast enough."

•Me: "You got some white chocolate on your lip." 
Grandma: "Are you sure it's not snot?"

•Grandma: "That's why Sam (grandpa Oda) said he liked me compared to other Japanese girls; I had boobs."  

•Grandma: "I don't know why, but every time Sam falls, I laugh."

•(grandpa reading the obituary in the paper) "All these dead people look young. It must be the humidity."

•Grandma: "I always wondered why people get so ornery when they get old, but I guess that makes us glad when they die.  If they were sweet till the end that'd be so sad."

•Us: "Do you mind if we go to the mall?"
Grandma: "Yeah that's fine. Sam likes to sit and look at all the girls."

•Grandpa: "Debbie, we don't need dinner tonight." 
Grandma: "Yeah Sam ate all the samples at Costco." 
Grandpa: "Only the ones that looked good..."

•(Christmas Eve, eating Jerusalem dinner.) Grandpa: "is that pancake?" Us: "It's naan; Indian bread."
Grandpa:"what's that brown stuff?" 
Us: "Dates." 
Grandma: "are those beans?" 
Us: "No, they're olives." 
Grandpa: "This bread stuff (naan) is good.  It's like tortillas." 

•Us: "We don't get ready in the morning for Christmas, so don't worry about it." Grandma: "Well, I gotta draw my eyebrows." 
Grandpa: "Yeah, and put in her teeth."

•Us: "merry Christmas Grandpa!  And happy birthday!" 
Grandma: "Oh yeah, it's your birthday..."
Grandpa: "It's my birthday?  Not tomorrow?  It's Christmas?  It's the 25th?"  

•Grandpa: "what's that word for when you write on your phone?" 
Us: "Texting."

•Grandma: "When I win the lottery I'm gonna get a face lift."

•Grandpa: "I've never had a drink in my life...hardly."

•(Grandma talking about Grandpa): "don't believe anything he says.  Especially about my driving."

•Grandpa pointing to our tennis machine: "Is this a car wash?" 
Me: "No it's for tennis." 
Grandpa: "Oh, a pressure washer?"

•Grandma giving a prayer: "...please bless grandma and grandpa that they can try to be productive and the name of Jesus Christ, amen."  Grandpa: "Gee, that was so long, I almost fell asleep."
Grandma: "Yeah I know--I didn't know how to end it."

•Grandma: "Well young kids don't like talking to us old people. We talk about doctors and pain and pills; they talk about dates and boys." 
Grandpa: "I talk about old ladies. 
Grandma: "Yeah, he dreams about those old ladies at Costco giving him samples."

•(talking about the kingdoms of glory) Grandpa: "well I'm going to the celestial kingdom anyway..."

Me: "Grandma, I'm probably going to put stuff about you on the Internet..."
Grandma: "I don't care."

Hilarious, right?  Needless to say, my Christmas break was filled with good old fashioned entertainment via my grandparents.

And here are some pictures I took of my grandparents. The majority being of them eating or sleeping.

1 comment:

  1. Love this! So great to hear from you still even though you're home!