Why nice guys finish last.

Lately I've been seeing a lot of internet memes about guys getting friend-zoned.  If you're not familiar with this term it's typically when a girl rejects a guy by saying they "just want to be friends."  And often this statement is truthful.  We honestly do want to be friends, but nothing more. To girls, this seems like a completely logical plan, but apparently guys hate this.  Even worse is after being friend-zoned, the girl goes for a jerk instead.

Guys complain about this a lot, and they have every right to do so.  Girls really do fall for douche bags instead of nice, respectable guys.  The question is why?  It's not like we want to date selfish, cocky, idiots, but somehow countless girls do.

Yes, I just included myself in this discussion.  I find myself continually attracted to muscular guys that are more obsessed with their bodies than I am.  And I'm a girl.  They are totally self-centered jerks, and yet I'd totally make-out with any of them.  Yep, I just said that.  This never made sense to me, I absolutely HATE these guys, but there is something beguiling about them.

So here's a theory that explains why girls fall into the douche bag trap: These jerks develop a false sense of superiority which makes them confident.  I find confidence very attractive.  Girls might say that we want a sensitive guy, but what we really want is a manly MAN.  The problem arises when girls mistake the jerks as "manly" when they're really just egotistic losers. 

I may be attracted to countless retards, but I would never date one.  I respect myself enough to avoid that situation.  But it really bothers me that I'm physically attracted to jerks, and yet I can't feel this way towards "nice" guys.  Do you know how many guys I've wanted to like, but just couldn't?  A lot.  I hate how there's this perfect, friendly, cute guy, and yet I don't feel anything.  IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.  Maybe they're so respectful, I feel like they'll never make a move.  I don't know.  It's weird.

So this is my advice to you nice guys:  If you've been friend-zoned, don't change who you are.  Girls are stupid sometimes.  Ok, a lot of times.  But if you want them to notice you in a "friendlier" manner, you're gonna have to show some confidence.  If you want to kiss a girl, and she seems to have mutual feelings, then GO FOR IT.  Girls like to feel like the guy is in control.  WARNING: No other time will we be ok with guys being controlling or dominating; that's when you start blurring the line between manly and douchey.  Having said that, we still want you to be confident in yourself as a man.  I don't care if it's old fashion, the guy should be the one to make the first move.  If I think he's too chicken, then I'm no longer attracted to him. 

The important thing is to continue and be a nice guy.  Sure, right now you may feel like girls don't notice you in the way you want, but you don't want to date those girls with low self-confidence anyway.  If the only reason you have a sub-par dating life is because you're nice, then you don't have much to worry about.  I've been friend-zoned a few times too and it sucks.  The problem is, I can't use the excuse that I'm too nice.  It doesn't work like that for girls.  No, the reasons I came up with include: I'm obnoxious, I'm annoying, I'm weird, I'm flat, I'm not very ladylike, or a nice combination of all those things. 

See? Just compare your life to mine and you'll feel better about yourself!

How to Survive Valentine's Day if You're Single

I actually made a vlog about this, and spent way too many hours filming and editing, but I'm not going to post it.  I'm too embarrassed.  I'm much better at writing sarcastically, than talking enthusiastically to a camera. I was soo incredibly awkward. AWKWARD.  I think I'll stick with blogging for now.

How to survive Valentine's Day if you're single:

Tip #1: Buy yourself chocolate.  Preferably in bulk.  And it can't be any of that Hershey crap, make it the good stuff. 

Tip #2:  Complain about your singleness and how Valentine's Day is overrated.  Share these feelings on facebook for everyone to see.  Most likely your single friends will agree with you and you will feel a fleeting sense of camaraderie.

Tip #3:  Eat chocolate.

Tip #4:  Surround yourself with single friends.  Then talk about annoying couples.

Tip #5:  Eat more chocolate.

Tip #6:  Write yourself romantic poetry.  It's not weird.

Tip #7:  Finish off your chocolate.

 Tip #8:  Cry yourself to sleep.

Hey, I didn't say these tips would make it a good day.  The goal is to survive.  Yep, that's all the advice I have to give. 

P.S.  My roommates and I bought a heart shaped ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.  I've been looking forward to this for weeks. 

Why I'm going to be a horrible wife

Let's be honest, I'm gonna be an awesome wife; I'm not gonna let myself go and get fat once I tie the knot.  And the reason why I'll stay thin??

BECAUSE I CAN'T COOK.

Which is also the reason I'm going to be a horrible wife...But we live in a modern world, we don't have to fill the roles that society places on us!  So my husband can go to work, and then make dinner.  I'll do stuff like sit around and watch him make dinner.  Take that societal norms!

No, eventually I'll learn.  And maybe I'll actually cook, but I still hate it.  In this post I hadn't made a real meal yet, but last week I made my first legit meal -- Like I had to cook it and stuff -- It wouldn't have been worth it if it wasn't delicious japanese curry.

That's my "I LOVE CURRY" face.

I was nervous because I had to cook raw chicken, and I was making dinner for my roommates and another friend.  WHAT IF I DIDN'T COOK THE MEAT ENOUGH AND WE ALL DIED?  Well, we didn't die, and we didn't even get food poisoning.  Double win. 

I'm pretty much clueless when it comes to cooking, so when I bought the chicken I had no idea what I was doing.  Luckily Jenai was with me so she guided me through the whole process, but I ended buying 5 pounds of chicken.  Apparently I didn't need that much because I basically had the whole case of chicken left after I made curry.

It sat in the fridge for most of the week, but I finally decided to cook it and freeze it.  The whole pan frying took forever,  and the whole time I was freaking out because I didn't know if the chicken was cooked all the way.  Did I mention how much I hate cooking?  Since I had all this chicken I thought I might eat some for dinner.  I cooked some brown rice (yay healthy) in my trusty rice cooker, and applauded myself for preparing chicken AND rice in one meal.

Then I realized that I had absolutely nothing to eat the chicken and rice with.  Seriously, my options were soy sauce, peanut butter, jelly, relish, or mustard.  I chose mustard.

So my fancy meal consisted of chicken, brown rice, and stadium mustard.  Bon appetit! 

Wow, I didn't realize how pasty white I was till now.

Lots of bland chicken.

Youtube and Stomach Flu

This past week can be defined by the title of this post: Youtube and stomach flu.  Though these two things may not have much in common, they have led me to the same conclusion.

I care about myself and my well-being way too much.

Let's start with Youtube.  Many of you may have already seen my latest youtube video because I shamelessly posted it on my facebook wall, just like I do for all my blog posts.

I had seen Sh*t Girls Say, and Stephen Jones' mormon version, so I thought maybe I'd make a video entitled "Stuff BYU Students Say."  During Relief Society I started to make a list of things I might say in the video.  (Hey, sometimes it can get boring).  By the end of church I had a pretty good list of ideas and immediately started to film when we got home.  Compared to my last music video, this one was super easy.  Lots of little clips with no lip syncing?  Piece of cake.  Of course it wasn't all me.  Meghan acted as my mute friend/boyfriend, Aubrey filmed, and both contributed lines.  Oh, and Meghan let me use her iPhone in the video so that it would make me look cooler.  I hope it worked.

We did all the filming that Sunday, which means we filmed on campus in school clothes while everyone else was still in church.  (BYU students have church in campus buildings because there would have to be a million chapels to accommodate for so many freakin mormons).  So yeah, it was kind of awkward.  By 4pm, we had filmed, edited, and posted the video on youtube.  Not bad if I may say so myself.

I remember how excited I was when the video reached 500 views.  Then 5,000.  Then 1,000,000.  Just kidding, I think it's only around seven thousand right now.  But let's compare those stats to this blog.  Even my most popular posts like Sick of Being Single, and PROM have less than 200 views.  150 vs. 7000.  Apparently people are too lazy to read.

Ok, so back to my thesis statement: I care about myself and my well-being way too much.

While the views continued to increase, I checked the progress constantly.  I was so pumped that people thought it was funny; people that I didn't even know.   I also watched and re-watched the video way too many times.  For the record, it's not funny after the fifth time.  I can only be self-centered for so long without getting critical and disgusted with myself.

And that's how I was grossly self absorbed with my little moment of "fame."  The next example is when my roommate got the stomach flu.   Before I proceed, you need to know one thing about me.  I have problems.  And one of those problems is my fear of throwing up, also known as emetophobia.  I don't worry about it anymore, but when I was a kid it really affected me.  Nothing was worse than throwing up, and I did everything to avoid it.  You know what, this reminds me of a story from my childhood.  Sorry, but now I HAVE to tell it.

As I mentioned earlier, I was terrified of blowing chunks (as my dad would say) which means I was also afraid of food poisoning.  This might be hard to believe, but Jenai wasn't always the perfect older sister.  She knew how cautious I was with food, so she told me a little lie one night when we were eating chili for dinner.

Jenai:  Hey Kristen.
Me: (Looking innocent and adorable) What?
Jenai:  Do you see these dots on the beans? (She points to the kidney beans).
Me:  Yes...
Jenai:  Well, sometimes they can be poisonous.  Most of the beans with spots aren't poisonous, so people eat them anyway.

For the rest of the meal, and many meals after that I picked out the kidney beans from my chili.  Did I mention that ALL kidney beans have spots and that they make up the majority of chili?  I'm not sure how long Jenai let me go through this torture, but one night she burst out laughing and told me that she had made the whole thing up.  I'm telling you, Jenai was kind of evil for the first 12 years of her life.

Wait, what was my point?  Oh yeah, I hate throwing up.  It doesn't ruin my life anymore, but I still hate it.  So when my roommate was sick in bed, feeling horrible and stuff, all I could worry about was whether I was going to get sick too.  I got a ginger ale for Aubrey, but that's about all I did to help.  I mostly just kept my distance, slept on the couch, used the other bathroom, and washed my hands constantly. 

I told you, I'm self-centered.

This has nothing to do with the post, but look how cute Aubrey and I were when were babies.

Sex Ed.

Today at work, while I was performing alienated labor (I work in the MTC dish room), I kept thinking about my health teacher in Middle School.  In a nutshell, we didn't like each other very much.  I thought she was shallow and not very intelligent, and I'm pretty sure she knew I thought that.  

Sometimes I write my favorite teachers/professors letters at the end of the year to show my appreciation for their hard work, etc.  If they were good teachers, I feel like I should let them know, because I do notice and care.  Only once have I written to a bad teacher, and it was for the same reasons.  I felt like she should know, because I definitely noticed, and I definitely cared.

And that's how we get back to the subject of my health teacher. 

At the end of my senior year in high school I wrote her a letter.  I probably shouldn't post it, but I'm going to anyway.

Dear Mrs. alkejhfkasjdhfkjs,

    I’m sure you don’t remember me, or one of the conversations we had back in 7th grade when you were my health teacher.  We had been learning about HIV/AIDS and how to avoid the disease.  This of course connects to the discussion of sex.  I’ll admit, I can’t fully recall the dialogue that led us to our disagreement, but the class was discussing ways to prevent AIDS. People mentioned safe sex and things like that, but I bluntly said that I wasn’t going to sleep around.  We had learned about abstinence from the guest teacher, but you gave off the feeling that this wasn’t possible.  When I told you that I was going to wait till marriage, you told me that I should come back once I finished high school and tell you how that went.  I can still remember the anger I felt when you said those words and I did say that I would come back.  Even though I was only thirteen, I had already made the decision that I was going to wait.  I was naive, and I didn’t know how hard it would be, but I knew that you were wrong.  I was mad at the time, but as I grew, so did my anger because I realized what kind of damage your words could have had on me.  If I hadn’t been so strong in my decision, your words could have discouraged me.  What kind of adult tells a thirteen year old that she most likely won’t be able to stay abstinent?
    Though the majority of people don’t wait till marriage, you had no right to say those words.  I just graduated from Medina High School yesterday, and I am a virgin.  It’s not because I’m ugly or a social outcast; it’s because I made a choice at that young age and I know that it’s worth it.  I have plenty of friends who have made the same decision as me, yet I know many won’t make it through college without slipping up.  I’m not ignorant to reality, but I know - just like I did in seventh grade - that my husband will be my first.
    I hope you change your attitude and approach towards future classes.  Preteens are easily influenced and they need to be guided by wise adults.
 

Sincerely,

Kristen Oda

P.S.  I was voted best looking female in my graduating class.

As a disclaimer, Lily told me to include the post script.  I think it added a nice touch to the end.  But this is pretty heavy stuff, right?  Every time I think back to that conversation, I still get so mad.  It baffles me that she had the nerve to say with a smirk, "Well, come back once you've graduated high school and tell me how that worked out." All I could reply was, "Ok, I WILL."

I knew my mind would go blank and I'd end up missing some key points if I said it to her face, so I wrote her a letter instead. Well guess what.  She actually wrote me back.  This is the card she used.

I'm still not sure if she only had access to ugly cat stationary, or if she purposely picked the ugliest card she could find in spite of me, but either way, that's one unsightly feline.  Her first mistake was writing back, because she can't write.  She wrote in pencil and made at least two grammatical mistakes.  And the worst part: She didn't apologize.  All she did was give some lame excuse about how she wanted to give "students a more realistic perspective."  I JUST WANTED HER TO APOLOGIZE.  Maybe I was being too sensitive, but even if I had been wrong, she should have apologized for offending me.

But alas, all I got was an ugly card with bad grammar and stupid excuses.  And yes, I'm still a virgin by choice.  Maybe I'll write her another letter the day I get married to let her know "how it worked out."

Merry Christmas from the Odas

Merry Christmas.  Since most of you won't be getting our Christmas card, I thought I'd post it on my blog.  Plus, I wrote it, so it's basically the same thing.

Merry Christmas fellow family and friends.  This year my mom wasn’t particularly inspired to write a Christmas card, so I, Kristen Oda, heroically volunteered.  In other words, I basically saved Christmas.  But enough about me.  I’m sure you’re all dying to know about the great and impressive things that my other family members accomplished this year. 

Both my parents may be getting older, but you’d never be able to tell from their appearance.  Today Mom tried on a pair of my skinny jeans and rocked them.  I’m proud and creeped out at the same time.  Though my dad is also healthy, his eyes are horrible and last week he had another detached retina.  His eye is recovering well, but he’s not as worried about his “down time” as my mom is.  When he actually is lying on his side (like the doctor ordered) he normally passes the time by watching Jimmy Neutron...He really enjoys that show.   My mom has been busy working to establish a scholarship for our local BYU chapter, and both my parents continue to feed their obsession for tennis.  My dad doesn’t have much free time, but when he does, he likes to fly RC planes.  Hmmm, Jimmy Neutron and remote controlled planes, I think I figured out why my dad has such a youthful vibe.

Lily is the youngest, so she is the only one still living at home with the parentals.  She recently became a licensed driver and has hit only one mailbox since then.  Driving might not be one of Lily’s talents but she’s a pretty good singer, and is an alto in her school’s Concert Choir.  Though Lily is the youngest Oda, she is the tallest, and towers over the rest of us with her 5’4” frame. 

This is the second year that Jenai and I are together at BYU.  We don’t get to see each other as much as we’d like, but we usually share Sunday dinner together.  I definitely get the better end of the deal considering Jenai cooks, and I eat.  Jenai has been salsa dancing for a couple years, but I started to join her this semester.  I was horrible a few months ago, but since I’ve improved, people ask me if I’m Latina all the time.  (We may be half Japanese, but we can pass for pretty much anything).  Jenai is still working customer service at Vivint, and I work in the dish room at the MTC.  Luckily we’re going to college so that we don’t have to keep these jobs for the rest of our lives.

Merry Christmas and happy New Year.  Hopefully the Mayans are wrong, and you’ll be receiving another Christmas card from us next year.  If not, at least the world will end before the last Twilight movie is released.

Love,

The Odas

College Cooking with Kristen

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, which means food is on my mind.  Ok so food is always on my mind, but you get the idea.

Cooking in college can be rough.  Most of us are cooking noobs, and don't have the time nor the money to make anything very fancy.  Because of this, I thought I would be a saint and share my favorite meals with you.  They are fast, easy, and cheap.  You can thank me later. 

Canned Soup
Ingredients:  Canned soup.
Instructions:  Dump soup in bowl.  Microwave.

Boiled Potatoes
Ingredients: Potato, salt
Instructions:  Boil water, add salt.  Cut potato, cook in boiling water up to 15 minutes.

Toast
Ingredients: Bread
Instructions: Place bread in toaster, and heat.  Add butter, jam, honey, peanut butter, cinnamon sugar, etc.

I may have had two pieces of toast while I wrote this blog...

Tuna Fish and Rice
Ingredients:  Rice, canned tuna, soy sauce, sweet relish, garlic powder
Instructions:  Cook rice, and boil water.  Place rice in bowl and add said ingredients and add hot water.

Egg and Rice
Ingredients:  Egg, rice, soy sauce
Instructions:  Crack egg over freshly cooked rice, add soy sauce.  Stir.

Before you get all Caucasian on me, the rice is hot and cooks the egg.  Sheesh, calm down.

Chili and Rice
Ingredients: Hormel chili, rice
Instructions: Cook rice, stir in canned chili

This picture doesn't do it justice.

Squash
Ingredients: Acorn Squash
Instructions:  Preheat oven at 375.  Cut squash in half and place in one inch of water rind up.  Bake for 45 minutes.

Proof that college students can be healthy AND cheap AND lazy.

Spam and Eggs
Ingredients: Spam and eggs.
Instructions:  Fry spam, scramble eggs.

This was dinner today.

Spam and Rice
Ingredients:  Spam and rice
Instructions:  Cook rice, fry spam.

 

Grilled Cheese
Ingredients: Bread and cheese.  Meat, egg, mustard, and spinach optional.
Instructions:  Grill the sandwich.

If you want your sandwich to seem fancier, just GRILL it.

Grilled PB&J
Ingredients: Bread, peanut butter and jelly/jam
Instructions:  Grill it dumby.

Seriously.  You can grill ANY type of sandwich.

See how witty I was with that?  None of those meals were real recipes and they didn't require more than three ingredients...Ok, so it's not that funny.

But the truth is, I haven't made a real meal yet.  All that stuff above is what I really eat, and that's the fanciest it gets. I refuse to buy ramen, and I'm not living off of cereal, but I'm not eating anything that my mom would make for dinner either.  You may think I eat like this because I'm a poor starving college student, but that's not exactly the case. 

Like this Uber Frosh, I may blame my crappy meals on being poor, but I'm pretty lucky because my parents give me grocery money.  The real, less cool reason I don't cook anything is I'm just too dang LAZY.  I hate cooking, and I get home from work at 7:30 every night.  The last thing I want to do is cook and wait another hour till I can eat. 

And that's why most of my meals consist of rice, eggs, or meat from a can.