Sometimes my life seems like a joke...

I've been noticing a theme in my life as of late.  It seems like everything I do, something goes wrong, or I do something stupid.  I could look at this negatively, but I prefer to look at my life comically. Basically my life seems like a big joke right now.

Let's start with Saturday's game.  It was the first home game of the season, and we were playing University of Utah.  The Holy War.  Like any other fan, I was hoping for a win, but we lost.  By a lot.

BEFORE the game.  Still happy and smiling.

I really don't want to go into more details about that game.  It was pretty embarrassing.

Ok, so the next day was Sunday.  I happen to have one of the few on-campus jobs that requires the employees to work Sundays, so I couldn't attend my usual ward.  The MTC holds a short sacrament meeting at 10:15 so I was planning on going to that instead of church.  I didn't set my alarm because I assumed my roommates would be getting ready for church before me.  We woke up at ten.  We seriously have a problem when it comes to waking up for church.  Turns out I wasn't the only one out of my roommates who missed church.  At least I had an excuse :p

I only have to work one Sunday a month, but that means we all have to work two shifts.  I biked to work and went back home after the first shift to eat some food.  I made a gourmet meal consisting of a boiled potato, peanut butter and banana sandwich, and half a cucumber.  Then I biked up the freakin hill for the second time that day to go to work.  When I arrived I found out that they provide us with a free meal on Sundays.  I wasn't bitter or anything...It's not like they'd have anything fancier than boiled potatoes.

Alright this next example is the best/worst, which is why I'm wary of sharing it with the public .  Oh well.  On Monday I went to my first work out with BYU's triathlon club.  I was pretty nervous because I had no idea how fast these people were and I thought I wouldn't be able to keep up.  Well, I was able to keep up just fine.  Actually, I was able to catch up also.  Confused yet?  Let me explain.  Do you know what an early morning run does to your digestive system?  If you don't, you're about to find out. 15 minutes into the run I started to get that feeling.  I really had to go to the bathroom.  But there weren't any bathrooms around, so I went in some poor soul's front yard bushes.  I used a plastic bag and leaf as toilet paper.  Gag.  Then I ran really fast and caught up with the pack. 

Sorry that was definitely way too much information, but it's just too funny and ridiculous to be left unsaid.  I've made it through six seasons of cross country and running on my own, but this was the first time I ever had to pop a squat in someone's yard.  Of course it had to be my first day working out with the triathlon club. 

Then this morning I woke up dark and early to go swimming.  We practice at 6am EVERY FREAKING MORNING.  I got halfway to the the pool and realized that I didn't have my student ID card, so I turned around to go get it.  I fumbled at the door and incorrectly entered the lock code twice before finally getting inside.  I grabbed my wallet and ran out.  Once I got to the locker room I handed my card to the girl at the front desk and she gave it back to me with a confused look.  I had handed her my laundry card.  My student ID wasn't in my wallet.  Effffff.  Luckily I remembered my student number, so I still was able to use the pool.  After I swam (or attempted) I put my clothes on and realized that my ID card was in my sweat shirt pocket. 

Why is my life so awesome?

Alarm Clock Fail

I've always been pretty responsible when it comes to waking up for school and church.  Though Seminary at 6am every morning nearly killed me, I still set my alarm every night and got up when I was supposed to.  It wasn't easy, so I came up with strategies to guarantee my chances of actually getting up.  First, I kept my alarm clock on the other side of the room so that I'd have to physically get out of my bed to turn it off.  I also gave myself the bare minimum amount of time to get ready; that way hitting the snooze button wasn't an option.

Just some pictures of my family tormenting me while I sleep.

Apparently the alarm clock gods are against me, because these past couple weeks I haven't been waking up on time.  All because I trust in my phone alarm too much.

This year my ward has church at 9am, so an alarm is absolutely necessary.  Two Sundays ago, both my roommate and I set our phone alarms for 8am.  Plenty of time to get ready.  We woke up at 8:20.  Both of our alarms didn't go off, and I'm still not really sure why.  We got ready, and walked to church with ten minutes to spare.  Beast.

The next Saturday night, Aubrey joked, "We better check to make sure our alarms are set."  I laughed in agreement and went to sleep.  I woke up the next morning at 8:15.  Both our alarms didn't go off.  AGAIN.  I had set my alarm correctly, but my sound was turned off.  I still don't know what was wrong with Aubrey's.

This Monday I did my laundry between class and work.  I was really tired so I decided to take a half hour nap and wake up at 3:45.  That way I could get my laundry out of the dryer, get ready, and leave for work at four.  I woke up at 4:15 when my roommates walked in.  I seriously can't describe how confused I was.  The whole thing was actually pretty comical because I was so out of it.

I'll try to recreate the scene, but I may be making some stuff up.  I still don't really know what was going on.

Kristen lay on her bed, deep in sleep.  Her roommates walk in.

Meghan: "You're still here?"
Kristen:  "Wait, what?"
Meghan:  "Aren't you supposed to be at work?"
Kristen:   "My alarm...what time do I work?"
Meghan:  "I don't know.  4:30?"

Kristen jumps out of bed and stares with a dazed expression at her phone.

Kristen:  "Why didn't my alarm go off?"
Aubrey: "Are you ok?"
Kristen:  "Wahh?"

Kristen fumbles around and drops her pants.

Kristen:  "Why am I so confused?"

Kristen stops what she's doing and looks around the room.

Meghan:  "Did you hit your head?"
Kristen:  "What?  Maybe.  I'm so confused."

Yeah, I'll spare you the rest.  Luckily, my roommates were thinking lucidly, so they suggested I call a friend to give me a ride to work.  Then I couldn't find my work polo, so I had to run to the laundry room to grab my other polo.  Hailey gave me a ride, and I showed up to work with a minute to spare.  That shift still feels like a dream. 

Being creepy and stuff

Sometimes I get bored in class (imagine that), so I do things to entertain myself.  My number one strategy is to try and fall asleep.  This often works, but sometimes the professors get annoyed, or I might miss valuable test information.   This is what I typically look like from my laptop's perspective.

Too bad we don't actually have class on couches.

If sleeping and surfing the internet isn't an option, or I need to be more attentive, I have to resort to weird/creepy things.

Sometimes I stare at the back of students' heads and try to picture what their faces look like.  Sadly, they're never as attractive as I hoped.

Or sometimes I let my thoughts drift and once again start staring at the students around me.  I try to figure out what kind of person they are outside of the classroom.  It's pretty easy to pick out the players, (the mormon version of course) and the molly mormons.  I probably shouldn't be judging people so much, but what else am I gonna do? 

Don't say listen to my professor.

So a couple of days ago I was the last person in my linguistics class to sign the attendance sheet.  Since I was last, I held onto it and gave it to my professor at the end of class.  After a few minutes I got bored and started to study the students' names.  Of course there were a few girls named Ashley, and four named Emily, but just because BYU isn't a very diverse school doesn't mean there aren't some unique names.  My class has a Vasilisa, Olimpia, and Sabra.  There also is a girl named Miriam.  Poor thing.  There weren't many weird last names, but I think Tata and Inoue fit the bill.

Today during one of my long sociology classes I found a different way to entertain myself.  Instead of creepily writing down my classmates' names, I looked through their itunes library.  You can tell a lot about a person from their music selection, and I could definitely figure most of my suspects were mormon girls.  Lots of Celine Dion, Mormon Tabernacle Choir, and David Archuleta.  You can see the peoples' names or user names on the side, so that helped too....

Hahahhahaha.  Anita Potty.  Get it??

To my astonishment, I saw a name I recognized in my shared library so I clicked on it.  I'm still not sure if this was the person I know, but I scrutinized her music much too thoroughly to see if it was in fact her.  I don't know why I cared so much.  Yes I do.  It's because I was SO BORED.

Back in Happy Valley

For those of you who aren't mormon, Happy Valley is the same as Utah Valley.  Which includes Provo.  Which means I'm back at BYU.  Yayyy.

This past week seems really long.  That gives off a negative vibe, but it's not meant to.  It just seemed really long.

I moved in last Friday, and was the last of my roommates to get here.  I was also the last to unpack.  I finally finished yesterday... I really like our apartment setup.  We have two bedrooms and two bathrooms with plenty of space, but it's just kind of ancient and crappy.  Livin' the college life bro.  I wouldn't really complain about the crappiness, except I don't like it when we have water spilling from our ceiling and random maintenance workers in our living room.

Sorry, bad camera phone.

Basically they tore our ceiling apart because there was water everywhere inside.  Or something like that.

I also got a job!  All I did was look at the available jobs on BYU's website, call the MTC, show up to the orientation an hour later, and I was hired.  Easy right?  Apparently not many people want to wash dishes for thousands of 19 year old missionary boys.  Oh well, it's a job.  And jobs mean money.  And I like money.

I've also been walking everywhere.  That includes the social security building because I'm a tard and left my ss card in Ohio.  I also walk to work, which is about 1.18 miles away.  (I looked it up, don't judge).  I find it funny how I used to drive to work in Ohio when I lived only .8 miles away.  (Obviously looked that up too).  I didn't even ride my bike.  I was so lazy.

Yeah so with all this walking and not eating/cooking, I'm lookin' pretty good.  Don't worry mom, I'm still eating plenty of fruits and vegetables.  Just not much else besides that and sandwiches.  I guess I'm still lazy.

Oh, and I have friends again; it's a nice change.